Today is another birthday that didn't get celebrated. And a sad reminder of a life lost - lost too early, too suddenly, and in a way that proclaimed it was not worth living. But I think today is also an opportunity to reflect on that life, and honor it, as we rarely do when a life still exists. On the first anniversary of Jon's death, I suggested that the best way to honor someone's life is to remember the things it taught you, and to allow it to continue teaching you long after it is gone. I always thought Jon would end up being a teacher some day (we talked about it several times and he agreed it was a good possibility, though he was concerned about his lack of patience :), and I like to think that through honoring his life we give him that chance. Today, I offer 3 things (of the many) that Jon's life continues to teach me:
Be curious. Jon simply couldn't skim the surface of something, but rather his curiosity consistently powered him to the top of any mountain of knowledge that could be gained on a subject of interest. Instead of being intimidated by the unknown (which I usually am), he sought to satisfy his curiosities with determination, and with a quiet confidence that he could reach mastery. I find myself often thinking about that curious quality that Jon possessed, and the more I seek to emulate it myself or appreciate it in others, the more I respect how difficult and rare it is to dive as deep as Jon did on so many things.
Find a good escape. We all feel the need to escape the things that plague us, and unfortunately Jon had many of those. So many people in his shoes turn to drugs, alcohol, or other unhealthy escapes, but Jon instead found escape in much more constructive ways. Of course his primary escape was reading, which he did with vigor until the very end of his life. I think he found an escape in some of his hobbies, like woodworking, as well. In some way, I think he tried to spare others of his pain by picking non-destructive escapes, which surely took a lot of the strength and discipline that we know Jon had. When I think about this, it also hits me with the realization of just how bad things were in the end when he could no longer chose an escape that didn't hurt others.
Support the underdog. Jon was at his best when someone was hurting, vulnerable, and needed help. It would be easy to conclude that this was because misery loves company, but I think it was much more than that. I think Jon had an uncanny ability to empathize with others, and when he felt someone else's pain, he was compelled to react. Had he been able to tame his demons, I think that empathy would have led him to do many great things to help others that were struggling. How I wish he could have done this for himself to start.
This day is also a chance for me to share my continued determination to make sure Jon does live on, and to figure out the best ways to do that. I have been thinking about a lot of things that I could do or inspire others to do in his name - probably something around books and literacy. Stay tuned on that front, and let me know if you have ideas.
For now, although the candles will never be lit again, may we honor the life that is marked today, and remember the many reasons that is most definitely was worth living. Happy birthday Jon.
